Therapy
by xmenfan33
Summary: Series of one shots revolving around the reactions of Kitty, Rogue, and sometimes Gambit to the events in the other 'Babysitting' stories. As they slowly drive their therapist insane. Rated T for language.
1. Halloween

DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT OWN X-MEN EVOLUTION.

A/N : Takes place in the 'Babysitting' universe

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Series of one shots revolving around the reactions of Kitty, Rogue, and sometimes Gambit to the events in the other 'babysitting' stories. As they slowly drive their therapist insane.

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part one

Takes place the same night as the Halloween incident.

Xavier arranged for the therapist to come in right away, after seeing the three teens sit vacantly on the couch for the better part of an hour. She arrived, and he ushered her into an office,while thanking her for coming right away.

-Kitty-

" Now, Ms Pryde, why don't you tell me what happened tonight." The therapist starts.  
" Okay, well, like, it was ,like horrible. First,Rogue,totally tricked me into, like coming with her and the brat squad trick-or-treating. Then she,like, totally abandoned us, to like, go talk to her stalker-boyfriend thing. Which is like,totally uncool, because she was the one that was supposed to be watching them, but instead she's off talking to him. Which is like,totally stupid,or whatever, because like, he totally kidnapped her a few months ago. Or at least I think he did, cause like Logan said he did,but when she got back, she like totally wasn't all traumatized .. I think that if you were kidnapped you'd be like, traumatized, wouldn't you? So maybe she,like just ran away with him,or something. Anyway...ummm, what were we talking about?"

" What happened tonight." The therapist says,while rubbing her temples.

"Oh yeah,right. Like, so anyway. What happened was, I was like,busy trying to keep track of the brat squad,cause like I said, Rogue, totally ditched us, and Like, Rahne was all 'blah,blah,blah,whine,whine' about...something I don't remember. Anyway , and then like,I turned around to like, look for Jamie, and like he was sitting on the curb eating pixie sticks. Do you know what's in pixie sticks? I'm like pretty sure, that it's like completely sugar. And then I like tried to get over to him, and stop him before he could eat anymore. But then,he like found some sort of chocolate, in his bag. "

Kitty then stares off into space for several minutes, before the therapist prompts " and then what happened?"

" Then...then i-it started. There were Jamies everywhere. They were destroying everything,and laughing. It was,like horrible. No one should ever let him have sugar...EVER! "

Kitty now curls herself into a ball, crying openly, while the therapist tries to comfort her. After several minutes of this,Logan calmly walks into the room, states " That's enough now,Half-Pint" and dumps a bucket of ice water on the traumatized teen. He turns to the therapist who is looking rather shocked and appalled. " Ya got ta get her to stop pretty early, or the only thing that'll bring her out of it shopping. And shopping...is just scary with her." Before he calmly walks out of the door.

The therapist returns her attention to the still sputtering girl, who suddenly sits up and says " Did he like,say shopping?! Yay! I'm driving!" Before jumping up and running out of the room. The therapist calmly writes up her notes,as in the distance you can hear, first Kitty excited squeals and Logan's reluctant groans. Followed by the screeching of tires and the sound of metal screeching as she hits the gate. Followed by screams in the distance as pedestrians jump out of her way.

-Rogue-

A few minutes later,the goth slumps in. The angry teen glares daggers at the therapist,who in turn calmly questions " Would you like to talk about it?"

" Would I like to talk about what? The fact that I can never touch another person with out putting them into a coma? How about how I was adopted by a pair of psychopathic bitches that wanted to use me to unleash ultimate evil. Or I know how about the fact that the closest I've come to a real first date was getting kidnapped by my stalker to use me for my powers and my first kiss was while I was under the control of a crazed hypnotist so I don't even remember it."

"Well..um" The therapist starts but is interrupted by Rogue continuing her rant.

" Then there's the fact that my roommates is easily the most annoying, hyperactive girl on. the. planet. or that my best friend/ kind of boyfriend type thing is the same guy who kidnapped me. Who for some crazy reason is completely into me even though he claims to be a ladies' man, and as mentioned, I. can. not. touch. anyone. That kind of limits what we can do you know? How messed up is that?!"

" Well, um, actually, I meant what happened tonight."

" Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

The scream continued for another ten minutes, a rather impressive feat... but then Kurt is her brother. Just as Ms. Therapist thought she would loose her mind, or at least her ability to hear, said brother walked into the room and waved a chocolate bar in front of Rogue.

Abruptly, the screaming ended. Then Rogue reached out and snatched the candy from Kurt while hissing " Mine!" and rushing out the door. Kurt shrugs at the startled therapist,and states " Chocolate.. It always works.." Before poofing away.

-Remy-

Gambit casually walks into the room and sits in the chair recently occupied by Rogue. Before the therapist can say anything he begins.

"Okay.. First I'm sure by now,you've heard this 'stalker' rumor. Or this 'kidnapping' story... but if I were a stalker would I really be the only one who knows that her real name is Anna or that she secretly loves babies? Okay so I learned the Anna thing my hacking into the Mississippi DMV... but the baby thing she told me... while we were on VACATION. That's right. It was a vacation. Admittedly it was an unplanned vacation, and I may have drugged her and tied her up to get her to come with me... but it was still a vacation. She could have left at anytime after I untied her. And we had a lot of fun."

" Okay, well"

" Anyway... about tonight. There I was minding my own business, following Rogue looking for a chance to talk to her,just like I do everyday, when she spotted me. She came over and we started talking about what movie to go see when we don't go out on our not-date tomorrow, we do that every week, when all of a sudden, out of no where, this herd of crazed sugar hyped kids descended on us! It was awful, I did my best to hold them back and protect my Roguey. The Mr Claws and Mr Furry showed up, and we wrangled all the kids into a truck that I may or may not have borrowed... which I promise I'll return as soon as I am done here... unless I forget."

" So how did this herd of children make you feel."

" I was terrified. And I was engaged to a psychopathic assassin,worked for Buckethead for a year, and drove a bus into a weird spirit bug thing."

" Well I feel better, I think I'll go give Roguey some more chocolate then head home. Goodnight"  
With that Gambit jumped up and walked out of the door the therapist thoroughly confused behind him.

-After-

" As you know, Charles, I can't discuss what is said in session...but those kids need help. Seriously.. I'll be back next week."

" All right. We'll see you then" Said Charles as he leads her to the door , completely ignoring the screaming,fighting, breaking objects coming from the rec room, and Logan chasing Remy off the property. These were far to common for him to note anymore.


	2. Meet Kaitlyn

DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT OWN X-MEN EVOLUTION.

A/N : Takes place in the 'Babysitting' universe *edit 3/28-fixed typo*

.

.

Series of one shots revolving around the reactions of Kitty, Rogue, and sometimes Gambit to the events in the other 'babysitting' stories. As they slowly drive their therapist insane.

.

.

.

Part Two

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.  
One week after Kaitlyn Arrived  
(Or just after The Adventures in Babysitting ended)

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Ms. Therapist ( who for some reason no one bothered to learn's name) arrived early on a Monday afternoon. She always tried to arrive early, so that she could get Remy out of the way before Logan decided he'd over stayed his welcome again. She was greeted by a harassed and slightly singed Storm. In the background she heard a high pitched scream. At first she thought someone was hurt, but then she saw Kurt run by,still screaming.  
"... What was that about?" Ms Therapist questioned.  
" Do you really want to know?" Storm questioned tiredly.  
"...No?" she replies while watching Bobby chase after Kurt yelling "C'mon it wasn't THAT scary!"  
Storm nods and leads her down to her usual office, where she calmly creates a tiny cloud to put out a nearby fire. Kitty is waiting patiently on the bench outside of the office, texting on her hot pink cell phone and chewing gum. Next to her sat Gambit, dressed casually in a white t-shirt and blue jeans, though the shirt appeared to be covered in soot. Rogue was notably absent a scorch mark behind her usual spot.

" Okay,Come right in Kitty" the therapist says.

-Kitty-

"...So , like, this has totally been a like stressful week. Like first the sale that I was like totally planning on going to for like the last month, ended before school let out. Then like no one would eat my yummy cranberry pineapple cherry cookies. Rogue became a mom. and like, I'm totally failing gym and I'm totally never babysitting again,like ever.

The therapist,now used to Kitty's rambling, picked the least headache subject to begin with... " Okay, so Kitty, why do you think no one would eat the cookies?"  
" I totally don't know! I mean,like I know I mixed up the salt and sugar canisters but I totally like caught it after the first cup." Kitty says throwing her hands in the air. ( Ms Therapist is to be commended on her ability to hide her total disgust at this statement). "... That's to bad,Kitty. I'm sure they were wonderful cookies" Ms Therapist states,preparing to change the subject. However, Kitty perks right up at her sympathy. " Like,really?! Here I have a few of them, in like my purse." Kitty states,pulling out the offending cookies,much to Ms Therapists dismay.  
"...I'm sorry Kitty, I'm on a special diet and am not allowed baked goods." Ms Therapist states thinking fast. After Kitty returns the offending cookies to her purse, Ms Therapist questions her about her shopping trip.

" Oh yeah, so like, I headed to the mall straight from school. But,like as soon as I got there, I totally realized that like the sale was over. So then after I like calmly called Rogue what happened, and like for some reason she laughed for like five minutes... maybe because I had, totally, promised to get her this totally cute hot pink sundress. But like for some reason she, like asked me not to, but totally not that nice." Kitty says,sighing " So then I like went in anyway, but like because the sale was over I was only able to like get this one really cute cardigan."

"...So why are you failing gym?" Ms Therapist asks  
"...WAAAAHHH!" Kitty cries, very loudly, before standing and floating through the door. No matter how many times she saw it,it still freaked the therapist out a little when she did that.

Rogue-

Ms Therapist was busy writing her notes when Rogue walked in, she didn't bother to look up, simply stating that Rogue should have a seat and she would be right with her. A moment passes, before Kaitie sniffles and lets out a short cry to state she was ready for her bottle.

Ms Therapist's notes catch on fire, as does her blouse sleeve. She jumps to her feet,staring at her client, while Rogue hands the baby a bottle and puts out the flames. "... What just happened?!"

" Oh Kaitie did it. She's a firestarter. This is Kaitie, my new baby. Mine and Remy's." Rogue states, she loves freaking people out by putting it that way.  
Ms Therapist is clearly confused "...umm, Rogue, that baby is clearly not a newborn. Small,yes but not a newborn. Why haven't you mentioned her before.?"

" Oh because,we only became her parents last week. Well I became her Mommy last week, Remy became her Daddy yesterday." Rogue stated while burping the now sleeping infant. " We even have paperwork to prove it!... and you wanna know the best part,aside from not having to go to Bayville High anymore? (Therapist nods) My personal bubble of doom has increased to room size! The only one who WANTS inside the bubble of doom is Remy... Who is officially my boyfriend... for the last 16 hours."

" So then you're enjoying motherhood?" Ms Therapist questions.  
" Yes! Kaitie's the greatest baby on Earth! The fires and teleporting don't bother me or Remy at all... though for some reason everyone else seems to be afraid of it."  
Rogue was about to continue,when she noticed Jamie out of the window..Jamie eating donuts. The only donuts in the house were hers, as she had just bought them this morning. Why Jamie felt the need to steal from Rogue,no one was sure, because it always ended the same way. Rogue gently set her daughter in the baby carrier, before calmly walking out of the door.  
From there, the sound of Rogue's battle cry and Jamie's screams of fear could both be heard. Luckily the baby slept through the entire thing, and Ms Therapist quickly copied out her notes as Remy walks in.

-Remy-

First, Remy peeked at his daughter, to make sure she was indeed, asleep, before sitting across from Ms Therapist.  
" So Remy,...Rogue was a little vague on the details about the baby. "  
" Oh, she's adopted. We adopted her after she was abandoned, and now were going to raise her together. It's going to be great! Kaitie is the best little girl any Pere could ask for. She has the world best Maman, and were going to raise her right. She's never ever going to feel unloved or unwanted. and-"

" Umm... Remy, a baby isn't a puppy... you can't just decide to keep it. Babies require a lot of work. It is a very long term commitment. If your doing this just as your latest attempt to get Rogue, then-"

" NON! I would never use a child as a gimmick for anything. She is my DAUGHTER now. It doesn't matter how she came to be here. We have all the necessary paperwork to claim her. It would stand up to the scrutiny of any lawyer or court. And if you can't be supportive, then we have nothing further to speak of." Remy then begins to stand, but is stopped by her apology.  
After a moment he continues on as if the previous discussion never happened ( he does this frequently, so she's used to it).

" Anyway, I may or may not need a new phone. Because my father may have answered when I called home yesterday... We may also need another new TV because John was angry with Elmo this morning. I told him to just change the channel, but the remote was all the way over on the bookshelf, and apparently John took offence to Elmo's pronunciation of Wallaby. Personally, I never understood why Piotr changes it to PBS before heading out every morning."

"... So then what happened?"

" Well after John put out the fire, we made a new house rule- Johnny has to put out his own fires, I decided to make us some breakfast, but then I remembered that the stove was destroyed yesterday, and the landlord hadn't replaced it again yet, so I decided to head to the cafe . At which point, Johnny decided it would be a good idea to remind me to get dressed because I slept in boxers last night. I didn't sleep very well, and sometimes when I don't sleep well, I forget to do things. So after I got dressed I realized that all of my clothes were dirty, so I packed up my laundry and came over here for breakfast. Xavier's a great guy, he's always saying it's fine for us to do our laundry here, as long as we don't cause any trouble.

So then after I got here, I realized that I still hadn't put a shirt on, and that all my shirts were dirty, so I borrowed one from Mr Stick up his a-( Remy please, I've asked you to watch your language) Sorry, anyway. Then I went to go hang out with Roguey and the baby, played an awesome game of chase with Logan ( he almost caught me twice), helped make lunch after Xavier told Logan to stop playing chase in the house, and came over here to the bench to wait for you."

"... And have you made any progress with your father related anger that we discussed the last few weeks?"

"... Yes. I may need a new phone, but this time I didn't tell him where to stick his bo staff before I hung up... that may have been because Kaitie started crying as soon as he answered the phone.. What can I say? My daughter has good taste."

With that Remy picked the baby up and left. Ms Therapist sighed. All in all it hadn't been a bad session. At least this week he hadn't blown anything up. She made sure to note that he may need to cut back on the coffee, but otherwise, it was an alright session.

She packs up and heads back out, passing the usual gangs of fighting children, a mob of Screaming Jamies, and Logan growling at a door on her way out. Yes, it was a good week. At least she wouldn't have to replace her briefcase... again.


	3. Babysitters

DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT OWN X-MEN EVOLUTION.

A/N : Takes place in the 'Babysitting' universe

.

.

Series of one shots revolving around the reactions of Kitty, Rogue, and sometimes Gambit to the events in the other 'babysitting' stories. As they slowly drive their therapist insane.

.

.

.

Part Three-

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Takes place the day after Side Effects of Babysitting

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Ms Therapist arrives early, as usual. Jamie answers the door for her, wide-eyed. " Ma'am, you may not want to be here today... Logan is being weird, Rogue's grouchy, and Kitty keeps mumbling something about butterflies."

She nods at Jamie and states " Well then, perhaps they need me more then usual this week. Did anything happen to upset them?"

Jamie begins leading her to her usual office. " ...Not really, except Kitty,Bobby,Kurt and I watched Kaitie for a few hours yesterday while Rogue and Logan went to some seminar thing... Gambit apparently broke his phone, so he didn't get here until after Rogue got back."

Sighing,the therapist heads into her office. She wonders what set them all off this time. Honestly everyone in the house needed therapy, but she didn't think she could handle more then the three of them. She sits and waits for Kitty to arrive.

Xavier calls her a few minutes later, to ask if she would mind adding Kurt and Bobby to her list of clients, at least for a couple of weeks. She agrees and goes back to waiting. A few minutes later a shaking and pale Kitty enters the office, indeed mumbling something about butterflies.

_Kitty_

Kitty sat, in an almost stunned silence for several minutes, the therapist was about to ask her what was wrong when she began talking rapidly. " Kaitie is teething, seriously, like growing teeth okay?. So like, it's totally unfair to make Rogue leave her with a babysitter right now. For Kaitie, and like, the babysitter! There I was,minding my own business, texting, when all of a sudden the Professor was all like 'Thank you for agreeing to watch the baby Kitty' and I was all like 'what?' cause I like never agreed to watch her. Ever."

Kitty then begins muttering again. Ms Therapist missed most of it but was pretty sure that Kitty had said something about 'butterflies' and 'pink'. Since the girl frequently arrived to their meetings wear one shade of pink or another, Ms Therapist was confused. Why would pink disturb the girl like this?

" Well like, Rogue has a binder A BINDER! Full of instructions of Kaitie's care. It said to feed Kaitie carrots. I hate carrots. So I fed her peas...which Rogue hates,so why were there peas? Rogue keeps getting scarier. Seriously. " Kitty took a moment to shudder before continuing. " Then,like I went to give her a bath, and like saw the scariest. thing. EVER! In Rogue's suite, Kaitie like has a nursery... A nursery with pink walls. THERE. ARE. FREAKIN'. BUTTERFLIES! on the border. BUTTERFLIES! and everything is orderly. She was my room mate for years! I think she may be and evil pod person clone thing."

" AND Jamie..."Kitty says. At this point, Kitty began mumbling again. Before the therapist could try to figure out what exactly set her off,Kitty began randomly screaming, and phased through the floor. Therapist blinks blankly at the spot the girl had been for several moments, before making a quick note and invited the next one in.

_Kurt_

Kurt walked into the office, a nervous twitching mess. He quickly looked around to ensure his niece was not somehow in the room before sitting down. " Hello Kurt. How are you today?" Ms Therapist asks, trying to get the boy to talk to her.  
"...Kaitlyn's not in here somewhere, is she?" Kurt asks first.  
" No, she's only in here when her mother is." Ms Therapist replies, wondering why the boy is so nervous.  
"...Oh good! I know she's my niece and all, but she is scary!" Kurt states. " Seriously. You have met her, so you must know!? When she cries *shudders* it's the most terrifying thing ever."  
The therapist didn't think the baby was really all that scary, once you got past the fires. Which didn't happen that often.

"...she peed on me yesterday! Then Bobby yelled at me saying it was my own fault for not dressing her fast enough. Then she teleported away from me. Then Bobby made me help give her medicine. Then I may have screamed a little, because I was sure she was gonna start crying. Then she laughed at me. First she terrifies me, then she laughed! I'm pretty sure she enjoys torturing me. And Bobby and my sister are in on it. I'm sure of it!" Kurt rants.

" I see... and how long have you been having these feelings of persecution?" Ms Therapist questioned,while taking notes.  
" Of course I feel picked on! As soon as I calmed down from the ordeal of giving her medicine, Bobby just left me with her again! AND then I had to deal with Jamie." Kurt takes a deep breath. " I'm considering becoming a priest...I don't want to abandon my studies, however, I don't know, maybe it's for the best."

Before the therapist can say anything, Rogue walks in carrying Kaitlyn. " Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone was here already." Rogue states, at the same time as Kurt points at the baby and screams. A moment later, Kaitlyn begins to laugh and Kurt teleports away. " Yeah, he always does that." Rogue states,seeing the questioning look on Ms Therapist's face. Rogue then sets out a blanket and handful of toys on the floor for the baby while the therapist finishes her notes on Kurt. ( Who she feels needs long term help for his paranoia)

_Rogue_

" I'll make this one quick, Ms Therapist." Rogue begins.  
" Actually my name is Mrs. Va-" Ms Therapist begins.  
" It's not important right now. What is important is Logan! We went to the world's dumbest seminar...about how since I'm a teen mom, I'm going to have like three kids by the time I'm twenty, by like three dad's, never graduate, and be a drain on society." Rogue sighs. " I think they are exaggerating the potential danger myself. There's no rule that says any of that has to happen, but even if I DID have two more kids, would that really be bad? I mean seriously. It was stupid. "

" Okay,so th-" the therapist tries to begin.

" But whatever it was they told Logan, he totally freaked out. All day he's been wandering around, writing on a clipboard, mumbling to himself, and randomly sniffing people. It's actually really starting to piss me off. "

" Alright, bu-" again she is interrupted.

" So I was thinking instead of doing my usual time, you could talk to him and get him to knock it off. Thanks." With that Rogue stood,gathered Kaitlyn and left with out another word.

" I'm not here for them ." Ms Therapist states, but Rogue is already gone.

_Bobby_

Bobby steps into the office, while she was still trying to think of a way to explain to Rogue she was authorized to see shuts the door, walks over, calmly sits down, and screams. " KURT IS THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON IN. THE. HOUSE!"

" And why do you feel, Kurt is annoying? " Ms Therapist questions, partly agreeing, though still far more concerned for the other boy's sanity.

" Because, EVERY time he sees his niece, he screams. Every Gosh Darn Time. I know she's scary at first, but she's been here for weeks. He seriously needs to get over it. " Bobby states, pouting.

" Oh and Jamie has serious issues. Really he does. I swear he spends more time in that tree then a squirrel. " Bobby states. " Okay thanks, you're really good! I feel better already."  
Bobby stands,walking back out as calmly as he had come in, leaving a shocked and confused therapist. She doesn't bother writing any notes on the strange encounter. Remy should be here any moment, and she still had no idea what had made them so hyper-vigilant this week.

_Remy_

Remy casually strolled in the sits in the chair furthest from her and stares for a moment out of the window.  
" Hello, Remy. How are you this week?" Ms Therapist questions, not really wanting to spend the entire session with him staring off into space. Again.  
" My phone is broken. Again. " Remy replies.  
"And how did it break this time?" she asked,with a sigh.  
" My father called me the day before yesterday. I was politely telling him were he could forcibly place the colossal stick he has been carrying around, and I accidentally stuck it in the microwave...We need a new microwave too." Remy states.

"...Remy, you can't accidentally place your phone in the microwave while you're using it." she says in a tired tone. They had been working on his tendency to lie about these 'accidents'.  
" Sure you can, just like last week when I accidentally stuck it in the dishwasher." Remy states, completely missing her tone. " But I feel terrible about the phone. Because I wasn't home, so Rogue wasn't able to get a hold of me to watch Kaitie... I think I need to be more careful with my phone."

" Yes. You also need to work on your ability to admit these incidents are not accidents. You destroy the phone because he upsets you. Not because you are careless." She states.

" Anyway... So I'm thinking that I should ask Xavier if I can join...but if I do then Logan will be upset..and he's been very very strange today. So I'm going to wait. " Remy states.

" Okay. " She states, but before she can continue, Jamie rushes through the door and attempts to hide behind Remy. Rogue quickly following, spots him right away and yells " YOU! I heard what happened yesterday. You can NOT play pirates with an infant!" As she completes this statement, she lunges towards the boy, and Remy steps out of the way. Jamie screams and runs from the room, Rogue quickly behind him.  
Seeing the shocked look on the therapist's face, Remy states. " He tries to 'board' the other 'ship' by jumping from his dresser to his bed. However, he'll knock Kaitie off the bed if he plays it with her. They've had this fight before." Remy then turns to leave. " I'm going to go help her catch him, and make sure she doesn't actually hurt him."

Remy walks out of the door, and the Therapist seriously considers quitting. These people need help, but she's not sure she actually qualified to be the one to help them. They seem to just get crazier as time passes.

Gathering her things, she heads in the direction of her car. Logan walks by carrying the previously mentioned clipboard, and what appeared to be some sort of charts. He was mumbling to himself something about babies raining down from the sky. Shaking her head, she escaped before Xavier could ask her to talk to anyone else. Thankfully she only had to come here once a week.

* * *

_ This chapter seems more bizarre than funny, but the next one will be funnier :) I hope everyone enjoyed it anyway ._


	4. Kidnapped and Control

DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT OWN X-MEN EVOLUTION.

A/N : Takes place in the 'Babysitting' universe

.

.

Series of one shots revolving around the reactions of Kitty, Rogue, and sometimes Gambit to the events in the other 'babysitting' stories. As they slowly drive their therapist insane.

.

.

.

Part Four

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After Dangers of Living with Babies

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Ms Therapist knocked on the door, wondering why no one was ever waiting, they had to buzz her in at the gate after all. It wasn't the first time she'd thought about it, but the answer was still a mystery.  
A wild-eyed Logan yanked the door open a moment later, a binder in his arms, and his hair more wild than usual. Before she had a chance to really wonder about the hair, he reached up and yanked it again, leaving it even more disheveled.

" Oh thank god you're here!" Logan exclaims. " You have to talk to them."  
She doesn't get a chance to ask who before he starts pulling her through the halls, leading to her office. He practically shoves her in the door while screaming " I'll go get em".

_Kitty_

Ms Therapist was still blinking at the door when Kitty phased through it. " Oh thank God you are here!" Kitty exclaims. Ms Therapist now has a sinking feeling. Because whatever happened this week had Logan and Kitty using the same phrases.  
" Hello,Kitty. How are you this week?" she asks as she sits down.  
Kitty flops into a chair shuddering before exclaiming. " I saw the most terrifying thing on Earth yesterday!"  
Ms Therapist nods, about to ask what it was when Kitty continues. " Rogue...Rogue KISSED Gambit. ANDHEDIDN'T pass out!"  
"...I'm sorry I missed part of that."  
" Rogue. kissed. Gambit. and. he. did. NOT. pass out!" Kitty repeats.  
"AND she used Pyro's powers, I think, but she didn't touch him." Kitty continues. " More importantly, she KISSED Remy."  
Ms Therapist knew that Rogue had been working on control for months, and that the girl had felt she was close for about the last three months, so it was good that they kissed...wasn't it?  
" Kitty, I don't understand. I thought you wanted Rogue to gain control?"

"... I do, it's just... we all kind of thought that it would take I don't know a near death experience or shot cutting off her powers, or some life altering journey halfway across the world, where she then realizes a key element that she had been missing all along." Kitty states.

" Maybe that was the cause! Maybe the baby was her life-altering event!" Kitty exclaims,now sounding excited instead of terrified. " Yes, that like totally makes sense. And now They'll like totally get married, and have more babies, and like live happily ever after!"

" Do you feel better now?" Ms Therapist. Kitty nods, now very happy.  
She stands and walks out mumbling something about bridal magazines and baby showers.

_Rogue_

Logan drags Rogue into the room, Kaitie in her arms who is eating a teething biscuit, and shoves in at the chair stating " You! Talk sense into her." He then points to Rogue and walks out of the door.  
Both women stare after him for a moment, before the therapist states. " So I heard you gained control."  
" Yes, they found out. Thanks for not telling them. I kinda blew the secret when I kissed Remy." Rogue replies. " I didn't really think about it, because I was just happy that I got him back in one piece."  
"Back?" Ms Therapist questions.  
" Of course she skipped that part! Remy was kidnapped yesterday by his father, brother, and cousins. I don't know why, when I tried to ask he just said that he didn't want to talk about it." Rogue states. " Maybe he'll tell you. Logan wants you to talk me into becoming a nun or something, or at least dumping Remy. Because he's completely obsessed with this crazy idea that now I have control so clearly we'll be pregnant next week or something."  
" I see." says Ms Therapist, wondering if perhaps she should pencil Logan in after all.  
" That's not going to happen. For one thing, you can't get pregnant from a kiss. For another thing, I want Kaitie to be a bit bigger before she becomes a big sister." Rogue states while setting the child on the floor. " Plus I have no intention of getting pregnant before I'm married, or doing anything that could change that goal."

" That makes sense." Ms Therapist states. " and Remy is in agreement with you?"  
" Completely. We talked about this a lot over the last few months. He agrees that we don't need another baby yet, and he respects my desire to be married first. " Rogue states, smiling.

" Well good. Was there anything else that you needed to talk about this week?" Ms Therapist.  
"... Kurt left. He became a priest now, I'm still wondering if anyone told Amanda, because that would be an awkward conversation.. ' No I'm sorry Kurt's not here right now, he's busy taking his vows...I'm sure he didn't mean to forget your date tonight' Yes that conversation ran through my head." Rogue states, giggling slightly.  
Kaitie squeals, tired of sitting on the floor. Rogue quickly picks the baby up before saying " Well, I need to go feed her lunch, I'll see you next week." and then walking out of the door, smiling at Remy as he heads in.

_Remy_

Remy calmly sits, and stares at the door for a moment,timing how long it will take before Rogue is out of hearing range before stating. " Okay, so you know how I've been doing better with the whole ' I hate my father with such a passion that I destroy stuff' and I haven't even blown up a phone in a month? Yeah, I think I'm going to have to start over on the anger management."

" I heard they kidnapped you." Ms Therapist states, prompting him to talk about it.  
" Yes, there I was minding my own business, waiting for Roguey and Kaitie to arrive, when all of a sudden they show up. They drug me into a van, then they took my out to a cabin in the middle of no where. Because that doesn't have a creepy horror movie vibe at all. Then they took my stuff away from me, just because I kept untying myself. Which was annoying. Then they made me sit with them like a little kid, again, just because I kept trying to escape" Remy states the memory causing him to not-pout.  
" And were you afraid?" Ms Therapist questions.  
" No. I knew even if I didn't escape, Petey would make sure I was rescued, I noticed him as they were shoving me in the van. Though I was a little upset that he told Roguey, I didn't want her upset. She came in, Kaitie on her hip, and kicked all of their butts. It was awesome." Remy replies.

" So you weren't afraid, how did you feel?"  
" Mostly annoyed, a little bored, and somewhat worried that Petey was going to tell Roguey." Remy replies. " Well I need to get going, I talked Kitty into watching Kaitie while I take Roguey out for lunch."

He stands and leaves without waiting for a reply, but Ms Therapist was used to them doing this now. Sighing she gathers her things quickly. She wants to be well away from the house before Logan finds out those two are going out on a date with out the baby as a buffer. Because he'll loose it, and she had a full afternoon already.

She quickly walks to the front door, completely ignoring the bouncing Jamie, Clearly drunk Professor,muttering Logan, and arguing Jean and Scott. She makes it all the way to the gate, before spotting Remy and Rogue heading down the drive on his bike, Logan running behind them, yelling. Shaking her head, she makes a note to clear more time next week for this group.


	5. And the madness increases

DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT OWN X-MEN EVOLUTION.

A/N : Takes place in the 'Babysitting' universe

.

.

Series of one shots revolving around the reactions of Kitty, Rogue, and sometimes Gambit to the events in the other 'babysitting' stories. As they slowly drive their therapist insane.

.

.

.

Part Five:

.

The day after

Babies do not come from the Stork or the hospital

.

Logan yanks open the door when Ms Therapist Knocks. " Great. They need Ya, though I don' think yer helpin' any!" Logan exclaims. " They're crazier then ever! We had a mass pregnancy scare yesterday!"  
" I'm sorry?" She questions, confused.  
" All the girls, 'cept Stripes, cause apparently her and that boy are the only ones who've been listening, had to retake the tests. Because I found them in the girls' dorms...all the girls' dorms. AND Red's pregnant." Logan rants as he leads her to her office.  
"...I see." Ms Therapist replies, wondering if it was to late to just call in sick.  
" Oh Hi!" Kitty states from the nearby couch.  
Yup, too late, Ms Therapist thinks,sighing.  
" Come on in, Katherine." She says as she let's herself in.

_Kitty_

" Okay so clearly, Mr Logan has completely lost his mind." Kitty begins, before sitting down. " He snooped through everyone's rooms. Then he ,like, claimed that he found positive pregnancy tests. In everyone's room. How is that even possible!"  
" Depending on the type, some tests turn positive falsely." She replies.  
"...So we were pranked." Kitty states.  
" It would appear so."  
"...Thank God!" Kitty exclaims. " They lectured so long, I didn't know what to think. I mean I knew about the whole if you leave it to long it can turn positive thing, but I thought maybe I'd forgotten to throw out the one I took waaaay back when I was late before I broke up with my ex and you have no idea what I'm talking about and I've said to much!"  
Before Ms Therapist can reply, Kitty makes a strange 'eep' sound and phases through the floor, a moment later, Logan busts in the door,looking around wildly while demanding " Where is she?!"  
"...Logan, we discussed this before, you are not allowed to listen in to these sessions." Ms Therapist replies in a tired voice.  
Logan completely ignores her, to wrapped up in the horrifying images of babies raining from the ceiling. Phasing,Earthquake causing babies. To joining the teleporting,Firestarting baby that had wrecked his peace of mind.

_Logan_

" I just...I just can't take the idea." Logan states while pacing. Ms Therapist sighs and begins a new file. " Seriously. Everything seemed fine, but those people at that conference opened my eyes." Logan continues, while running his fingers through his already wild hair.  
" NO ONE WILL BELIEVE ME!" Logan continues,working himself up. "THEY REFUSE TO SEE THE DANGER WE ARE IN! I'VE DONE EVERYTHING I CAN, I'VE SHOWN THEM THE CHARTS! I TAUGHT THE LESSONS, BUT IT'S BEGINNING ANYWAY!"  
" Please Logan. Calm down. " Ms Therapist states. " What exactly do you believe is beginning?"

"THE BABY APOCALYPSE!" Logan screams, collapsing into a chair. A rather well built, though still lightweight chair. That wasn't designed to accommodate the man with a 300 pound skeleton throwing himself into it. Therefore it's really no surprise that the next moment Logan found himself on the floor in a pile of kindling.

Logan stood, brushing himself off with as much dignity as you can muster, when you've been running your hands threw your hair, haven't slept or showered in two days, and then broke a well built solid office chair by sitting on it. ( In other words he looked ridiculous).  
"Well, I think I need to go talk to Chuck." Logan says in a much calmer things,even accidentally, always seemed to calm him down. "We need to discuss having another lecture...and I need to make sure Jamie's still on the grounds...We don't need him trying to buy another baby. Again."

Logan leaves, before she can ask about his comment about Jamie, what was that about buying a baby? She made a note to ask Professor Xavier about it before she left.

_Rogue_

Rogue and Kaitie came in a moment after Logan left. Rogue glanced briefly at the door, which had seen better days, now that it was hanging by a single bottom hinge, and broken in a few places. Shrugging, Rogue placed Kaitie on a blanket as usual before beginning.

" So..Jamie's an idiot. Who hasn't paid any attention when Logan pulls out the charts. Therefore he had it in his head, that babies come from hospitals. And he went to the hospital and tried to buy a baby. Of course he got caught, and of course Logan had to go get him from the police station." Rogue states, Ms Therapist crosses out her note to ask what had happened, and made a new one to offer therapy for the boy.

" So then Logan lost it, again, and he demanded we all take a parenting class, tought by him." Rogue pouts. " Because I HAVEN'T been raising a baby. Whatever. So we take this foolish week long class. Logan even handed out those crying baby dolls. They are so much more annoying than a real baby. Seriously. They are."  
Ms Therapist nods, but Rogue continues, not really paying attention. "So I was annoyed most of the I found out that the rest the girls think they'd be better momma's than me. So Remy and I got my revenge!" Rogue smiles viciously.

" The pregnancy tests?" Ms Therapist questions.  
" YES! We planted them in each girl's room, and then just sat back and waited! Best. revenge. ever!"Rogue states gleefully. " Oh yeah, and Ms Perfect's pregnant. And Mr Wonderful isn't happy!"  
Kaitie began to fuss, so Rogue quickly gathered her up, and left without another word. Ms Therapist was used to this kind of thing at this point. She waited a few minutes, wondering if Remy was coming in today.

Ms Therapist had gathered her things, and was beginning to leave, when Logan reappeared.

_Logan 2_  
" I know I already talked to ya Doc, but, but...Rogue,she..she just asked if I would mind giving her a ride to pick up TEETHING CREAM!" Logan states, pacing.  
"TEETHING CREAM! THERE'S A INFANT IN THIS HOUSE WHO STARTS A FIRE EVERY TIME SHE CRIES TEETHING! WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE AFRAID?!" Logan continues, in a similar manner as earlier. " WAIT! Would it be completely inappropriate to invite her to take the baby over to Remy's for the week... I WOULDN'T trust most of them to be alone together like that, but. She's a good girl. and Remy, I don't think he'd pull anything anyway. I'm pretty sure they're the only two in the house who respect the charts! "  
"Mr Logan, surely it won't be that bad. I assure you inviting her to stay over at her boyfriend's apartment, would be a bad idea. Not necessarily for her, trust me neither one of them would betray your trust like that, but the other children, would take it as an open invitation to follow suit. " Ms Therapist replies.

The idea of teenagers sneaking in and out of the house ran through the paling Wolverine's mind, to join the images of babies raining down on them all. The two images were to much for him, Logan screams and jumping out of the window, runs into the woods.  
Blinking briefly,Ms Therapist quickly left the mansion before anyone else could catch her. She needed to call her Therapist. Now.


	6. The morning after

DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT OWN X-MEN EVOLUTION.

A/N : Takes place in the 'Babysitting' universe

.

.

Series of one shots revolving around the reactions of Kitty, Rogue, and sometimes Gambit to the events in the other 'babysitting' stories. As they slowly drive their therapist insane.

.

.

.

Part Six

.

Takes place the Afternoon following Teething at Midnight

.

Ms Therapist arrived in the afternoon. She sat in the car, staring at the mansion looming over her. She wasn't sure she wanted to go in there...those people, those people were making her therapist had suggested she take a break, but no one else in the office was willing to take her weekly house calls.  
Sighing, she climbed out of the car. Might as well get this over with. She thinks, walking up to the door. She knocks, and is surprised with the lack of noise and length of the wait. Finally, when she was beginning to wonder if they had left somewhere, Logan answers the door.

" Shhhhh. Kaitie's sleeping, you must be very very quiet." Logan whispers, walking her calmly through the corridors of the school. There was no one anywhere to be seen, something that she had never seen happen before in the entire time she'd been coming here. Not even that first night, when it was late.  
" What happened here?" She whispers as they approach her office.

" I gave 'em money, and sent them to the mall. The baby needs her sleep and so do her parents. You won't be speaking to either one of them this week. " Logan states as he follows her in to the office and sits down.

_Logan_

" Okay, so Stripes wakes me at a quarter to three, this morning to tell me Gumbo's on his way over, so that I wouldn't 'overreact' when he arrived...just because you try to gut a guy no less than once a week for most of a year and all of a sudden you have an 'anger problem' and you're 'overprotective'! I jus' want ta keep the girl safe, I'm not trying to stifle her at all. In fact I wish that Gumbo would move in here. It would save them both time and Gumbo could help more with the baby, because the baby is a handful. A wonderful, adorable handful. That no one here ( a side from Kurt) would give away for anything. I'm not sure Kurt would actually send away, either. He just doesn't wanna be around her." Logan states.

" Why was he coming over that early?" Ms Therapist questions, not really sure why the rest of his speech had been important to this story.  
" Stripes called him, of course." Logan replies, while staring out of the window behind her. They were both silent for several minutes while she waited for the man to continue.

"... Why did she call him?" She finally prompts.

" Oh, I forgot. " Logan says looking startled that he was still talking to the woman. " Stripes says to me in the middle of the night. Because talkin' to me in the middle of the night is normally such a great plan. Seriously I'm a cranky as a ...well cranky as a wolverine when I'm woken. Most people avoid waking me. Even Chuck, when he wakes me doesn't do it from inside my room. Because I tend to wake violently. Seriously one of these days someone's gonna wake me in the middle of a nightmare, and I'll end up stabbing them.

I've had nightmares about it. Stripes comes in while I'm havin' a nightmare, wearing a nightgown and with no stripe for some reason, and I stab her in the chest...then while like dozens of children gather around, she touches me to save herself. I collapse and she freaks out, Scott, Jean and 'Ro arrive and take over...Then I woke up. It felt so real, I had to go check on her." Logan rambles.

Again there was a long silence while Logan remembers the mentioned nightmare. He was contemplating what he could have done differently. Because the entire thing was disturbing. The net morning he had added a list of actors to the banned list, because in the dream, that's who they had all looked like. It still made him shudder every time he saw a poster of Hugh Jackman or Anna Paguin.

Finally he continued, just when she was about to ask again. " Anyway, so she comes in, without the baby, and tells me he's coming over. So of course I get up. Because I trust 'em, but that don't mean Imma gon' be asleep while they're alone in her room. Because a baby isn't a good chaperone, she just isn't. And even though I trust 'em, it don' mean I trust the rest of the kids and they'd use it as an excuse, jus' like ya said last week."  
" Yes, I agree." Ms Therapist replies, when he pauses and is watching her. He nods and continues.

" So then I ask, while we're waitin' on the boy, why he comin' over that late anyway. And she used the most frightening sentance in the house. I had ta go wait for the boy on the porch. I thought about heading to the store myself, just in case the boy wasn't that fast. I had just stepped back inside to grab my boots, when I heard his car screach up the drive. He jumped out as I opened the door. The first thing I noticed was the boy wasn't wearing a shirt or shoes and he was still in his pajamas. so I said to him 'forgot somethin' Gumbo?' but instead of some smart as-sorry, instead of some sarcastic remark, he looks at the bag in his hand, says somethin' in that gibberish he uses, I'm pretty sure it was a bad word, and shoved the bag at me, screamin' ' Give that to Roguey, I'll be right back.' before peeling back out. I took the bag to Stripes and went back to the hall to wait for him again. I don' think he even realized he wasn't dressed."

Again there was a long pause, eventually she asked. " So what was this terrifying sentence?"  
" Kaitie's outta teethin' gel." Logan states. " She tol' me the baby was outta teething gel."

"So then the boy gets back, and drops off the fever stuff, no wait he came in and gave her the feeding stuff...Which is when I decided that he needs ta just move here. It'll make like easier on both of 'em if he lived in the school. Ain't asked him yet, but I think he'll say alright. As long as I assure him, I won't let the others mess with him. Oh then I sent everyone away, because they kept waking the baby. Stripes and Squirt went out for awhile this morning, to get Gumbo his change, cause he wouldn't go back for it. But now they're sleepin' and I didn't want the other kids to bug em none." Logan finishes.  
He stands and states. " Well I gotta get goin' No one else is here, so I guess you get outta here early this time!"

With that he escorts Ms Therapist to the door, and she is silently thankful that this week was short. Sighing contently, she slips in her car and drives away, hoping next week would be as calm.


	7. Wedding Plans

DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT OWN X-MEN EVOLUTION.

A/N : Takes place in the 'Babysitting' universe

.

Thank you to my beta reader song. of. a. free. heart.

.

Series of one shots revolving around the reactions of Kitty, Rogue, and sometimes Gambit to the events in the other 'babysitting' stories. As they slowly drive their therapist insane.

.

.

.

Wedding Plans

Ms Therapist arrived early, to find people everywhere and what looked like a piece of the building missing. She briefly considers driving away, when one of the boys spotted her and waved. Sighing deeply, she emerged from her car and walked slowly towards the house. She reached out to ring the bell when the door was yanked open.

"Oh, thank God you're here!" Bobby announced. "I know you don't normally see him, and you'll probably be extra busy today with all of the wedding stress, but you HAVE to talk to Kurt. He's shedding!" He dragged her down the hallway continuing to babble about Kurt, and shoved her into the office, where the blue furred boy in question appeared to be hiding.

_Kurt_

" Hello, My name is.."  
" It doesn't really matter, what matters is staying quiet!" Kurt replied.  
" And why is that?"  
" Because... my sister has gone insane! I mean I already thought she was insane but now she's really, really crazy! She's walking around with what looks like those paint sample things and mumbling to herself! She keeps shoving tiny pieces of cake at me and Remy and asking if we like them! I LOVE cake, but if I have to eat another bite sized portion of chocolate cake, I'll die! And why? Why? The cakes are all the same! She keeps showing fabric samples to me too, because she needs to know which one to use on her dress...but they are all WHITE what does it matter? I know it's not just me, because I saw Logan trying to drag John and Remy out of their hiding place under the stairs because Wanda keeps doing it to. I can't wait for the wedding, then maybe everything will return to normal."  
"I see. Well it sounds perfectly normal. Brides tend to be a little stressed before their weddings and_"  
" Kaitie terrifies me... but I'm trying to get over it. It's not her fault that she can start fires just because she's upset, or that she teleports. Or that sometimes her hair changes color. BUT SHE STARTS FIRES and her teleports tend to be dangerous! I've tried deep breathing, I even moved out to avoid her, but nothing seems to be working. Bobby said that if I get to know her she won't be as scary."  
"Most likely this is true an-"  
" YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I am terrified of my own niece. I'm either the world's biggest wuss or an uncaring monster! The worst part is I don't know which it is!"  
" Umm, Kurt-"  
" Oh look at the time, I must get going...I promised to double check the roses Remy ordered for my sister, without letting Remy know I'm double checking them, because she doesn't want to insult him, but she wants it right!"  
With that Kurt teleports away.

_ Rogue_

Rogue steps in while Ms Therapist is waving the air around her face.  
"My brother just left?" Rogue questions.  
"Yes, he said something about flowers."  
"Oh good. The wedding is beginning to stress me out just a tad... here try this cake and tell me what you think. Anyway, Remy's been great, and Logan's handling most of the work, but still."  
"Very good... yes weddings to be very stre-"  
"So you think that one's good? Because I was worried it was a little too chocolaty."  
" No, no it's fine. As I was saying-"  
" Good I need to call the bakery." Rogue states as she pulls out her cell phone and walks out of the room.

_Remy_

Remy glances around the room, before sitting down with Kaitlyn on his lap.  
"Désolé, I'm a little jumpy right now. Logan is being weird. He invited me and the others to move in, but then when I got here he moved me in with Roguey. I think he's trying to set me up somehow! I can barely sleep, and keep having these visions of him impaling me whenever Rogue tries to hug me! Seriously. I'm freaked out."  
"I think he trusts you Remy."  
"...why?"  
"Because, you haven't given him a reason not to."

"...mais, I kidnapped her awhile back. I have the worst reputation in the house (largely exaggerated...by me) I'm not trustworthy!"  
"Which is why he trusts you, because he knows that"

" Logan's insane." Kaitie begins squirming, tired of sitting still and Remy stands, throwing a quick good-bye over his shoulder, he walks out. Ms Therapist shakes her head and makes a note to continue the conversation next week when he comes back in.

_Wade_

Ms Therapist begins to gather her things when the strange man walks in. She knows he's strange as soon as she glances up, because normal people just don't walk around wearing red facemasks and suits under a Tux.

Normal people certainly do not walk boldly into other people's offices and immediately point a gun at them. "Who are you, lady?" Wade questions.  
"I'm the therapist, Mrs-" she begins  
"Oh, I remember Jimmy saying something about you! So why do they need a headshrinker anyways?" Wade asks putting away his gun.  
"Because they are all under a great deal of stress and talking about it can help." Ms. Therapist replies in a tired tone.  
"Oh! Well in that case, have a seat, we shall talk about what's been bugging me!" he says, while sitting down.

"Okay... something really been bugging me recently Doc-"  
"I'm not-"  
"No interrupting! Anyway, what's been bugging me is the raccoons!"  
"Raccoons?"  
"Yes! The raccoons! They are in league with the evil corporate elves and possibly the ninjas!"  
"...The what?"  
"The Evil corporate Elves! They are the cause of all our current woes! They create chaos were ever they go! There is such an elf right here in the school but no one seems concerned! AND the ninjas have been out to get me ever since I broke into their compound and slayed their pocket dragons!"

"Are you medicated?"  
"... no, why?"  
"Never Mind, perhaps you should see my associate about these issues, here I'll give you his number and-"

" YOU ARE ONE OF THEM AN EVIL CORPORATE ELF! AND YOU'RE TRYING TO HIDE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE AN ELF WITH ALL OF THIS 'REASONABLE EXPLANATIONS' AND MEDICATION!' I run into your kind before! You can't keep me down!" Wade rants before running out of the door.

Ms Therapist sighs and quickly packs up to leave before anyone else can come in. Though she was to speak to Kitty, she just didn't have the energy this week. She quickly dodges the chaos in the front hall and jumps into her car, ignoring Logan as he calls out to her. Which is why she nearly crashes when the dog in her backseat sits up and calmly states " Hi" before morphing into a little girl. Shakily she opens the door and screams " GET OUT OF MY CAR!" before driving off tires squealing as soon as the door recloses.


	8. Honeymooners are gone

DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT OWN X-MEN EVOLUTION.

A/N : Takes place in the 'Babysitting' universe

.

Thank you to my beta reader song. of. a. free. heart.

.

Series of one shots revolving around the reactions of Kitty, Rogue, and sometimes Gambit to the events in the other 'babysitting' stories. As they slowly drive their therapist insane.

.

.

.

Honeymooners are gone

.

"Yes, yes I agree." Ms Therapist stated into her phone, as she turned off the engine of her car. "But I think it may be even worse when I return if I were to take a vacation."

She closed her phone, sighing heavily. Her therapist had been encouraging her for weeks to take a vacation... but she shuddered at the idea of what they would invent for crises while was gone. She rang the bell and waited calmly, despite the sounds of yelling and breaking glass on the other side of the door.

"-don't care, clean it up!" Logan said as he opened the door, clearly finishing a sentence to whoever was behind him. "Ah, Ms Therapist, you're early."

" *sigh* I've told you before, my name is-"

"Whatever, c'mon in. Gumbo and Stripes aint home yet." Logan said as he walked with her to her office. "They shouldn't be back from their honeymoon until late tonight. I think Half-Pint is a little frazzled from watching the baby all week."

"I see, so will she be seeing me first then?" Ms Therapist questioned, as she sat down.

"Yeah, I think she should."

_Kitty_

Kitty walked in, handing Kaitie to Logan on the way through the door. She sat down and waited for him to leave before stating. "So, like, guess what? I'm totally engaged! Oh, and so is Jubilee!"

"Really, that's great news Kitty, an-"

"Oh and like don't tell Logan, but I like totally think that, like after this week with Kaitie I'm totally ready to be a mom. After we get married of course, because like, I'm really getting the hang of this. I mean, sure she's a ton of work, and like the first night, she fussed so much I like went through, like four extinguishers...maybe I like might want to wait a bit longer before having one of my own after all." Kitty stated, talking progressively quicker as she spoke.

"Okay, so-" Ms Therapist begins.

"Buuuut then again, like I don't think most babies are as scary as Kaitie, really. Right? I mean like, most can't like, light fires, so right there that's totally gotta be better." Kitty stated, beginning to look kind of frantic.

"No, I me-"

"I'm like, totally sorry, I like need to go think about this. Like maybe I should, like talk to Logan." Kitty said, while standing up.

"I don't think that would be wise con-"

"You're like totally right! I'll like go talk to the Professor, like thanks." Kity stated, before rushing out of the door.

_ Bobby_

"Guess what?!" Bobby stated, walking in the door.

"AAAHHH!" screamed Ms Therapist, not expecting anyone else to come in.

"Wow, that was impressive... have you been training with Kurt?" Bobby questioned, as he sat down.

"...no." She stated, still clutching her chest.

" Anyway. Guess what?" Bobby replied.

"What?" She said, while finally calming and straightening her desk.

"I'm. getting. married." Bobby replied. Smiling broadly.

"Congratulations."

"Oh, and I pretty sure Logan may have completely lost his mind. Because this morning, I gave Kaitie a slice of toast and she threw it at Logan. It fell in his coffee, and splashed all over his paper...and he smiled at her. SMILED! LOGAN. I've never seen him smile. I didn't know he could smile. But then he does! Over his coffee being splashed on him!"

"Ma-"

" I DON"T CARE! It was scary! Okay, I feel a lot better. Thank you again, ma'am. Hey, what did you say your name was?" Bobby asked, standing up.

"Oh, my na-" She is cut off my a troop of Jamies crashing through the door, followed closely by Piotr trying to catch them before they threw his sketch pad in the pool, as they had threatened to do.

Bobby chased after them, and she sighed: "Oh well, he'd forget by next week anyway."

_Logan_

"So my plan was a success!" Logan stated, as he walked in.

"What plan?" She asked, confused.

"To stop the BA, of course! I thought I talked to you about it." Logan said, as he sat, very carefully, on the chair.

" ...No"

"Well, I came up with the most brilliant plan to end it...Trick them into getting married!" Logan began, standing again to begin pacing. " Stripes and Gumbo were easy, they already understood the terrible risk we were facing. I was worried briefly when I learned that other girl, Stripes's crazy friend, was pregnant, but they're married too, so it's fine. And then two more got engaged at the wedding it was wonderful...plus, watching Kaitie for a week should make the others not want a baby for a while!"

Ms Therapist simply nodded, deciding to ignore the conversation she had with Kitty earlier. Logan walked out whistling.

She began packing up. as Jean walked in.

_Jean_

"Okay" began the redhead, while shutting the door. "I know I've never come to you before, but this is important!"

"Okay, have a seat an-"

" Rogue refused to let me help with Kaitlyn. I need all the practice I can get, because I'm about to be a single mother, because my Ex is an idiot, and I need the practice."

"You said practice twice. Are you nervous about the pregnancy?"

" Well thank you captain obvious! Of course I'm nervous. I'm about to be a single mother! I haven't even told my parents yet, they aren't going to be happy, and he acts like it's all my fault. I should sic Logan on him, but I won't because I'm the better person. But the point was that Rogue is stingy with the baby. I'm not going to hurt her or anything. I haven't had a phoenix episode in years!" Jean ranted as she paced.

"Wha-"

"Never mind, it's not important. What is, is I thought, with them gone, I might get a chance. But it turns out Kitty's stingy too!"

Before she can say anything the girl threw her arms in the air, and walked out.

She decided to leave before anyone else came in. She packed up and walked pointedly to the door, purposely ignoring the growing line of students outside her office, as well as Charles message that he wished to speak to her. She actually makes it all the way to her car before anyone caught up.

Logan reached her as she was starting the car. "Hey where are ya going? Some of em are still waiting."

"I'm going on vacation. I'm be back in three weeks." She replied without looking at him, and then peeling down the driveway, intent on escaping the madhouse.


	9. Group Therapy

Disclaimer: I don't own X-men Evolution

Thank you, Song Of A Free Heart, for Beta Reading this chapter.

Chapter Nine

Group Therapy

(Day after Kaitie's First Birthday)

Ms Therapist arrived just on time. The door opened as she walked up the stairs, a nearly hysterical Kitty on the other side, who grabbed her hand. She was pulled through several walls, and an additional floor, before coming to a stop in what appeared to be the library, which was defiantly not her office. Inside the library sat Bobby, Logan, Kurt, Wade, and a few she hadn't yet met.

Kitty quickly gestured to the others stating: "That's Piotr, we're getting married, Jubilee, John and Wanda," before sitting down.

"... What's going on?" Ms. Therapist questioned.

"We feel it may be best to have a group meeting this week." Logan stated.

"Why?"

"'Cause, like, Remy and Rogue are going to kill us all!" Kitty stated.

"Wait,what?!" She asked.

"Let us begin, at the beginning," Kurt said, attempting to remain calm. "About nine months ago, the most horrifying event _of my life_ occurred, when my sister became a mother."

"What does tha-" Wade began

"Please don't interrupt! Anyway, Kurt, continue." Ms. Therapist replied.

"Thank you. Anyway. My sister became the mother to the most adorable, and freighting, baby in the universe. Then...*sighs deeply* then, she began dating her former stalker, though that may have actually happened first, because I've never been clear on that. And now that I think about it, I'm not really sure she was kidnapped, because she was awfully calm about the whole thing, anyway, where was I?" Kurt stated.

"You ,like, were trying to explain what is wrong. I totally can tell you what happened." Kitty began, with Kurt waving her in. "Anyway, like so, um, Remy and Rogue totally got married, like about a month ago. So that was totally like cool and stuff. But then yesterday was, like, Kaitie's birthday, and it was like totally freaky and fun and stuff, but then like..." Kitty then began staring off into space, completely lost in her internal turmoil.

"I can tell you what's wrong." Wade stated.

Ms. Therapist nodded to him, and he began. "Well first of all, the infiltration of the corporate elves is at an all time, freakin' high. Seriously those little freaks are EVERYWHERE. Then there's the pocket dragons... no one knows where to find them, it's like they've completely disappeared. Which is completely insane! PLUS the Darn Ninjas have COMPLETELY taken over Hollywood and Wal-Mart! Wal-Mart! The evil ninjas have teamed with the evil corporation, it's the second sign of the apocalypse! PLUS THE BABY APOCALYPSE IS BEGINNING! I think NINJA!" With that Wade jumped out of the window, shook the glass off of his uniform, and ran in the direction of town.

A few minutes later, everyone returned to their seats, and Bobby stated: "Okay. I live in a house full of crazy people, who seem bent on driving the rest of the world insane as well! This is ridicules. Ninjas. Babies. Come On people. Pull yourselves together! We battled Apocalypse, Juggernaut, Magneto, AND we won! Yet you are sent to therapy over one little baby! Oh thank you, I fell much better." With that Bobby walked out of the room. A moment later, Jubilee followed, nodding in agreement.

After a moment, Piotr silently walked out of the room, stating as he left. "If they discover we are speaking of them without their knowledge, they will hurt us. I will not be part of this."

The remaining parties looked at each other, before Kitty silently slipped out of the room, deciding Piotr was right. Kurt whimpered and disappeared at the same thought. Logan grunted and crossed his arms, unafraid of death...mostly. John and Wanda shrugged, as John cleared his throat.

"The way I see it, the real problem is that Remy's in denial. Clearly we are brothers, yet he continues to deny it. But look at the evidence. Kaitlyn! She has her mom's temper, her dad's humor, the blue guy's teleporting... and my FIRE!" John reached into his pocket to find a lighter to demonstrate, but Wanda stopped him.

"They are all freaking out, because Rogue and Remy decided they wanted another baby yesterday," Wanda stated, as she dragged her husband from the room. "Personally, I don't see what the big deal is, after all I'm having a baby too."

Ms. Therapist turned to Logan, who was the only one remaining. But he simply grunted at her, before walking out of the room. Sighing she walked downstairs. But not seeing the southerners anywhere, simply headed out of the door. This was, by far, the weirdest meeting she'd had so far. At least there had been no fires this time.


	10. Announcements

DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT OWN X-MEN EVOLUTION.

A/N : Takes place in the 'Babysitting' universe

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Thank you to my beta reader Song of a Free Heart

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Series of one shots revolving around the reactions of Kitty, Rogue, and sometimes Gambit to the events in the other 'babysitting' stories. As they slowly drive their therapist insane.

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Announcements

Beginning of Baby Apocalypse Prevention Squad.

Ms. Therapist pulled up in time to see the one with sunglasses sprint by, followed by Logan. Shaking her head, she got out of the car, and walked up to the door. She was greeted with the happy expressions of the LeBeaus, who seemed to be completely oblivious to the man screaming for help in the woods, or the strange expressions on the faces of the couple behind them.

Bobby and Jubilee wandered quietly up the stairs, hoping not to be called back. Kitty and Peter continue to simply stare. At what, Ms. Therapist wasn;t sure she wanted to know.

"Okay. Who am I starting with today?" Ms. Therapist questioned, before being led to her office by Remy and Rogue.

"We're first, and we're going together," Rogue replied.

Without waiting for further response, they sat down and waited for her to get comfortable.

_Remy and Rogue_

The couple smile expectantly at her in a way that almost scared Ms. Therapist. These two seemed to be a main source of the insanity around here, she had decided.

"So... what has happened this week?" She asked, after stalling as long as she could.

"Bobby and Jubilee eloped," Remy supplied.

"Really?" she asked.

"Yup. And Logan lost it!" Rogue added. "Of course, he was already stressed because Kitty and Pete got married last week in Russia."

"_Oui_. And den Scott made him mad again," Remy added.

"Ah yes, I saw that. What did he do now?"

"He was flirting wit' the new girl. Who needs to wear more clothing" Rogue said, crossing her arms.

"I see." Ms. Therapist replied. Unfortunately, she did.

"It was a clear and blatant violation of several rules, I don't know when he became such a rule breaker but, I'm not sure he should be allowed to stay here to much longer if he can't behave. " Remy replied.

"Oh, Kaitie learned ta walk this week!" Rogue stated suddenly.

"Oh, good for you! congratulations." That was actually good news.

"Yup. Oh, and I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant." Rogue said, as the baby monitor came to life with baby babble. Rogue quickly rushes out of the room, Remy following behind her.

_Kitty_

"I hear congratulations are in order," Ms. Therapist began when Kitty sat down.

"For what?" Kitty asked.

"...Getting married?"

"Oh. Yes. Thank you."

Ms. Therapist wasn't sure what to say to that.

"What's really important isn't that though! Rogue has gone over the deep end, and dragged Remy happily along!"

"What do you mean?"

"I was gone like, literally, two weeks. And when I come back... they're quoting the Book! I don't think I really want to know why, but how? How did they memorize that thing in two freakin' weeks! It's insane. I mean, really?!"

"I see an-"

"It's crazy! I mean it was bad enough when Mr. Logan brought home his crazy friend, who started memorizing every rule. But now Rogue? How does Logan do it? Like, I'm scared. Like, seriously scared that if I stay here, I'm going to do it too!"

"Kitty, I think perhaps you should calm down and take a step back from this. Can you honestly say that anyone else is behaving in a manner you find disturbing? Or is it just Rogue and Remy?"

"...Rogue and Remy."

"And wouldn't you agree that they tend to do these kinds of things on a regular basis?"

"I'm not... Well, Rogue does tend to overreact to Jamie... and Remy counts their 'little trip to New Orleans' as their first date... I guess I see your point. But still."

"I don't think there's anything insidious in the Book anyway, is there?"

"...No, not exactly." Kitty said. Then she jumped her her feet. "LIKE, OMG, HE GOT TO YOU TOO! AND NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO GET TO ME! THIS ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN! I'M SMARTER THAN THAT! FREEDOM!"

With tha,t Kitty ran quickly out of the house through the wall, and could be heard yelling "Run! he'll get to us all!"

_Wade_

Wade opened the door hard enough for it to slam into the wall, while announcing: "I just learned the greatest news ever! Well, ever since they finally put me in the movie! But you told me before that you don't want to talk about that anymore. Anyway, Great News! There's going to be another Ninja-Slayer! IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT! I SHALL HAVE TWO SIDE-KICKS! WE WILL TRAVEL THE WORLD, WE SHALL BE LEGENDS IN THE FIELD! WE WILL-"

Whatever else Wade had planned for the LeBeau children was lost when Remy walked into the room, smacked the insane mercenary upside the head, and said: "No! Bad Deadpool! No training infants."

Ms. Therapist stared in surprise as Remy then calmly walked back out of the room. Wade was left pouting, and muttering about the 'stifled' baby. He sat that way for several minutes, until Ms. Therapist cleared her throat.

"Oh, sorry. Anyway, despite their incredible narrow-mindedness, it is the best news in a long time. That they are having this baby! It will help stave off the BA! Balance with be restored. We will be validated! Peace will once again reign! Faith will be restored! Global Warming... will be unaffected, but everything else applies."

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Ms. Therapist said.

Wade looked at her with great sympathy, before stating what the students consider the scariest phrase in the house. "Here, let me explain."

Wade pulled out a thick portfolio of charts, as well as his pocket edition of The Book,, before beginning the lecture.

Forty-five minutes later she interrupted Wade as he turned to the third chart.

"I'm sorry, Mr Wilson, but I really must go. I have another appointment across town in ten minutes."

"Oh yes, of course. We'll continue this next week. Thank you so much for your time, Ms. Therapist. I'll see you soon." Wade stated as he packed up the charts and walked out.

She shook her head, and slowly walked through the house, noting that no one seemed to be around. Which was odd.

She climbed into her car and began to drive away, pausing at the gate, when Scott dived into her car.

"GO! JUST DIVE! HE'S COMING!" Scott demanded.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH! GETOUT, GET OUT!" Ms. Therapist screamed, as she tried to dive out of her own door. Scott, however, had grabbed her arm and wouldn't let go.

Logan ran up to them just then and screamed himself. "SUMMERS, LET MS. THERAPIST GO NOW!" Before yanking Scott back out of the car.

Screaming once more, Ms. Therapist slammed on the gas and was gone before Logan could apologize to her.

"Now you've done it! If Ms. Therapist doesn't return I'm holding you personally responsible!" Logan growled.

"Her name is Mrs.-"

"That don't really matter anymore does it? What are you playin', at jumping into her car like that? Danger room, now. I'll come get you when you're done." Logan replied, before stomping off to the garage. He had to go smooth things over, before she decided not to come back.


	11. The Beginning of the End

DISCLAIMER: i DO NOT OWN X-MEN EVOLUTION.

A/N : Takes place in the 'Babysitting' universe

.

Thank you to my beta reader Song of a Free Heart

.

Series of one shots revolving around the reactions of Kitty, Rogue, and sometimes Gambit to the events in the other 'babysitting' stories. As they slowly drive their therapist insane.

.

.

.

Part Eleven :

The Beginning of the End

Takes place during The Baby Apocalypse Prevention Squad

Ms. Therapist tried to back away unnoticed.

It didn't work, but she had tried. Logan, however, had spotted her, and when he realized she was trying to leave, he stood behind her car, so that she would have to run him over to leave.

She had learned last week, running him over was not a viable option. He just got right back up, screaming "You must respect me, I'm the Headmaster!" But more importantly (to her), it destroyed something on her car, and she'd had to buy a new one.

Sighing heavily, she slowly got out of her car.

This was bad. Really, really bad. She wasn't sure she could handle this.

What could be so bad? You may be wondering.

But what she had seen pulling in had caused an immediate panic attack in her... A bulletin board clearly labeled 'Freshman Orientation'. They were getting new students! Them! These people could barely handle themselves, and they were adding more (most likely unstable) teenagers to the mix.

She didn't think she could handle it. What if the new ones were as bad as the last batch? She shuddered at the idea. She didn't have time to really think about it however, because Logan was already opening the door for her, and she was surrounded by chaos as new children ran about everywhere.

"Now, don't worry. We already hired a new therapist for the kids... well, we have guidance counselors now, but it's the same really. So all you gotta think about is the teachers," Logan said as he led her to her office.

She nodded sadly in response. Because what else could she do? Besides, if her work load wasn't increasing, perhaps she could ignore the new ones. Except...

"How many of them are there?" she wondered out loud.

"About twenty. I think. I gotta look at the list again to be sure. It's fine though. Oh Rogue's in there waitin' for ya." Logan replied before pushing her in the door and walking away.

_Rogue_

Rogue was already sitting in the chair facing the desk, Kaitie on the floor next to her, babbling happily and playing with a set of blocks. Ms. Therapist sat down slowly behind the desk, hoping that this would be a calm day, but feeling it wouldn't be.

"So. You know how Wade's been bugging me about twins? And Hank refused to check to see if we were having twins because he didn't think it mattered?" Rogue began.

"Yes? Go on."

"Well he gave in, and it's not twins. After we endured a Wade lecture about 'not trying hard enough', because we really understand what he means by that, we told everyone else. I'm so excited though, because Hank gave us a copy of the ultrasound, so I have the baby's first picture. See here it is!" (She shoved the picture at the Therapist.) "And now I'm a teacher." Rogue stated, rapidly.

"Really? Well that good news an-"

Ms. Therapist was cut off when Remy walked into the room and whispered something to Rogue, who promptly stood up, grabbed Kaitie's hand, and left. Remy then shrugged, gathered their daughter's toys, and followed his wife.

She stared after the couple, but had long ago learned not to ask.

_Kitty_

Kitty walked in just after the door closed behind Remy. She sat down before Ms. Therapist could say anything, and began smiling brightly. This concerned Ms. Therapist. That smile wasn't a good thing. She'd seen it before, and it nearly always meant trouble. Because it meant Kitty was excited.

"Guesswhat!"

"I'm sorry? I didn't catch that."

"Guess. What." Kitty repeated.

"What?"

"I'm pregnant! I'm going to have a baby, is that awesome or what?! I'm, like, so happy! I've never been this happy before!" Kitty rushed out.

As she spoke, Ms. Therapist became paler and paler.

The idea of this hyper girl creating more hyperactive people, who in turn would most likely need therapy, thus trapping her further, terrified her. Though to be fair, she's felt pretty much the same way about Remy and Rogue. Yet their child wasn't spoiled, and she doubted the new baby would be either. Kitty, though. Kitty's parenting skills were unknown, but her sanity was also non-existent.

Calming herself, Ms. Therapist began listening to the babble from Kitty just in time to hear: "Oh, and Jubilee is pregnant too!"

This was too much to process all at once for the poor woman, and she snapped. Ms. Therapist stood, calmly. Then she walked around the desk, like in a trance. Before Kitty could ask what was wrong, Ms. Therapist screamed, and pulling at her hair as she ran from the room. She ran past a group of new students, pushing through the line of teachers in the foyer, and out to her car.

Logan, Remy, and Rogue stood on the front porch and watched her drive away.

"Well... she lasted longer than I thought she would," Logan finally said, as the sound of her tires faded away.

"Did she just quit?" Rogue asked, while shifting Kaitie to her other hip.

"...I'm not sure," Remy answered, and they returned to the Foyer.

Logan sighed and went to call the center Ms. Therapist worked through, to find out if they would send someone else out if she didn't return... If only he could remember her name. He was pretty sure they would want to know that. Oh well, first he needed to break up a fight between Jamie and one of the new boys.


End file.
